BTS: How we craft our child’s weekly well-being in 3 steps!

I am often asked: how do you do it? I’d like to share it with you. Just know that if you don’t succeed right away, that’s completely okay. Co-parenting, like any parenting, is a process of trial and error, of bleeding and blossoming. So above all, be kind to yourself.

Step 1: Collaborate with Co-Parent

1. Schedule a Weekly Co-Parenting Meeting: Each week we set time aside to discuss and plan our child’s activities, school commitments, and any other important events. Sundays Evenings when our Sun is in bed we run through the coming scheduled week.
2. Utilize Shared Calendars or Apps: We use a shared digital family calendar on our devices to keep track of schedules, appointments, and shared responsibilities. We also created a whatsapp group for our family constellation. This way we are all reminded of the agreements we made and there will be no room for our Sun to try to negotiate something else when with another parent.
3. Prioritize Open Communication: We create time and a safe space for open dialogue where both parents can express concerns, share updates, and make decisions together for the benefit of our child. We can do that weekly and if it is an urgent matter, we can text each other about it.

Step 2: Plan Activities & Study Time

1. Balance Leisure and Educational Activities: We ensure our child has a healthy mix of recreational activities and structured learning time throughout the week. We keep it in balance by picking our strengths: his father takes care of most of the recreational activities and I take care of most the structured learning time throughout the week.
2. Incorporate Physical Exercise: We plan regular physical activities or outdoor play to promote physical health and reduce stress for all family members involved.
3. Establish Homework Routine: I set aside specific times for homework each day, providing a consistent and structured environment for academic success. Depending on the work-load, it varies from 20 minutes to 3 x 20 minutes throughout the week after our 4 pm snack or dinner. Always making sure we both have eaten something. With a Virgo rising mother and similar Sun, having eaten something is mandatory to have a stress free Homework Routine

Step 3: Maintain Consistency & Communication

1. Stick to Agreed-upon Schedules: Consistency in routines helps children feel secure and confident. So especially as a Virgo Rising mom I prefer to stick to agreed-upon schedules as much as possible. I do have to remind his dad every now and then. This step is like everything, it is always work in progress.
2. Adjust Flexibly When Needed: I am always open to adjusting plans as circumstances change and find it important to communicate these changes promptly with the co-parent and especially with our Sun. His dad being in construction often leads to him working during holidays and not having a plan B for the time our Sun is with him. Make sure to tackle this at least 3 weeks ahead of the holidays and create clarity for your child. Remember: flexibility also has its boundaries.
3. Foster a Unified Front: We do our best to present a united front to our Sun, even if we have differences with each other. Consistency in rules and expectations helps create stability and security for your child.

Which one of these steps have you already applied successfully and which one is still a challenge for you?

Ready for your structured co-parenting

Experience co-parenting characterized by transformative growth and harmony. As a seasoned transformative and narrative mediator and co-parenting coordinator with more than a decade of expertise, I specialize in guiding individuals through the complex journey of ‘From Closure to Connection’. If you are facing challenges during your co-parenting journey and are looking for a professional ally to light the path to renewal and positive transformation, I am here to offer you my dedicated help. Let’s work together to ensure that your co-parenting relationship not only continues, but can flourish too. Contact me and let’s begin a new chapter of connection, growth and shared joy in co-parenting.

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Sunita loves to write to help couples and their children navigate divorce with care

About Sunita Changoe
Sunita Changoe is the owner of Tara Mediation. Tara Mediation guides couple who are considering a divorce or separation, couples who have decided to divorce and already divorced individuals. For these individuals Tara Mediation provides the workshop ‘Claim your spot! – from partner to single’. More information www.taramediation.com

For more information about Tara Mediation, interview requests or images you can contact Sunita Changoe by phone: +31 (0)6 8100 6515 or e-mail: su.changoe@taramediation.com Also visit the website: www.taramediation.com

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