When love has turned into tolerance …

When love has turned  into tolerance …Many couples seemed to have found the recipe for a happy relationship. However, that moment will come when both partners start wondering whether that is really true. The love that gave birth to their relationship and made the relationship blossom and grow, all of a sudden seems to have left without prior notice. The relationship has become a daily grind, a daily soap with the same people in the same environment. All the day outs, holidays and diners to keep the relation alive didn’t work. Where love once used to reside, a sense of dissatisfaction seems to pay a visit more often. Unfulfilled dreams, in which you realize when you are dreaming them, show no trace of your partner, Unfulfilled dreams which make you wonder whether they would have come true if you didn’t have this relationship. Before you know it you start regretting ever having chosen this partner.

Why is it that a decision to separate is easy to consider, but not always made. Often it seems people are so used to being together that the unknown without that partner scares them. Ostensibly never ending turns have been made on that same roundabout without ever taking a direction. Fear of the unknown, sometimes even shame, but mainly the interdependence keep you from making that decision and actually executing it.

The most common reason not to choose for your own happiness is interdependence. Wanting to leave, but not being able to do so because your partner depends on your income or vice versa, because you want to stay together for the sake of your children or because there is a big chance your house will be sold with a remaining debt with all the financial consequences that come with it.

Dare to choose for yourself. Direct your own life and get off that roundabout. Whether that means you’ll stay together or you’ll be alone. For some couples relation therapy has revived their relationship and taken it to a higher level. Some become aware that the time has come to separate. Not choosing only leads to more irritation and being unhappy. Only by making that choice and following its direction the actual challenges and the inherent solutions will unfold. Follow that direction and be open to the adventure that is waiting ahead of you, together or alone.
About Su Changoe
Su Changoe is the owner of Tara Mediation. Tara Mediation guides couple who are considering a divorce or separation, couples who have decided to divorce and already divorced individual. For these individuals Tara Mediation provides the workshop ‘Claim your spot! – from partner to single’. More information www.taramediation.com

For more information about Tara Mediation, interview requests or images you can contact Su Changoe by phone: +31 (0)6 8100 6515 or e-mail: su.changoe@taramediation.com Also visit the website: www.taramediation.com

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